


Straight on til Morning by babs

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-23
Updated: 2011-04-23
Packaged: 2017-10-18 12:54:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daniel's back from Central America but things aren't quite the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Straight on til Morning by babs

"Earth to Daniel Jackson. Paging Doctor Daniel Jackson," Jack said into his mic.

"Are you having fun?" A disgusted voice sounded in his ear. "Because I'm not."

"It's time for din-din."

"I'm almost done."

Jack could hear a grunt as Daniel did...well, whatever it was Daniel was doing at the ruins. "Daniel." He hoped it was enough of a warning.

"Later, Jack."

Had Daniel sounded a little out of breath? Jack tried telling himself nothing was wrong. Doc Fraiser wouldn't have allowed Daniel off-world if he hadn't recovered from his little jaunt to Central America. Besides, Teal'c was with him. He *knew* Teal'c wouldn't allow Daniel to overtax himself or come to harm. It was just...despite *knowing* with his brain, his gut was telling him something else.

"Carter?"

She looked up from her laptop and smiled. "Just adding my notes to the data, sir."

He was relieved to see Carter was looking more like her old self. Her mission with her father and Teal'c had been rough. She hadn't been tortured or had some zombie try to kill her with a machete when all she had to defend herself with was a rock, but he knew it had been hell for her to be off fighting when she had no idea what was happening with Daniel.. He had to admit that his asking her to join them for lunch was his own almost paranoid need to see his team in one room, healthy or not.

"I'm just gonna..." he said, wiggling his index finger in Daniel's direction.

"Yes, sir," she replied, her attention already back on the screen. He could see her smiling. It was either the 'let's just humor the colonel' smile or the 'I can't believe this data' smile. Or, Jack grinned, maybe it was just gas.

He started off in the direction of the ruins, just around the small copse of trees, not more than a five minute walk, but before he even got past the perimeter of their camp, he saw Teal'c and Daniel walking towards him. He scrutinized Daniel's pace--searching for any sign of undue fatigue or pain.

"Waiting for an engraved invitation?" Jack asked as Daniel walked by, using humor to cover up the worry.

"I was expecting a white table cloth and a bottle of champagne," Daniel said with a grin before turning to Teal'c. "I told you we didn't need to come back yet. There's still a good three hours of daylight left."

"You were tired, Daniel Jackson. You worked hard all day and now it is time for you to rest, especially after you-"

Jack didn't miss Daniel's quick cutting his hand across his throat gesture. "What did you notice, Teal'c?"

Daniel glared at him. Jack shrugged. "What are you mad at me for? I didn't spill the beans."

Pushing back his boonie, Daniel stared Jack straight in the eyes. "He's going to tell you I had a little fall on some rocks."

Jack opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Daniel raising his right index finger and continuing. "I had a little fall. I got up. I dusted myself off and walked back here." The last sentence was accompanied by a direct stare that had they been thirty years younger would have been followed with, "I double dog dare you" or a "so there."

Daniel stalked off towards the tent he was sharing with Jack, anger and tension radiating off of him. Jack took a step in his direction, only to be stopped by Teal'c's hand on his shoulder.

"Do not."

Jack watched as Daniel disappeared into the tent before looking back at Teal'c. "How bad?"

"I believe the fall was painful, although Daniel Jackson insisted it was not. He was not appreciative of my efforts to assist him."

"Yeah, he can be like that." Jack gave one last look at the tent before heading over to the small campfire.

Carter handed him a MRE and Jack took it without comment.

"Is Daniel okay?" she asked, stirring her MRE with short choppy motions.

"He will be." Jack looked at his own food with disinterest and no appetite. "Give him a little time to himself." The advice was for himself more than Carter or Teal'c. He put a spoonful of what the government enthusiastically labeled macaroni and cheese and swallowed it without even tasting. It was taking every ounce of self-control Jack possessed to not go over to the tent and demand that Daniel allow him to check for possible damage to his leg. But he wouldn't. He understood Daniel needed to feel in control again; he was willing to allow him to regain that feeling. It was hell doing it, though.

"Yes, sir." Carter sounded as if he'd just kicked a puppy and he didn't dare raise his eyes to meet hers, but then he figured she deserved what truth he could share.

"Look, Carter, he was tortured. You read the mission report. You know what happened to him down there. He's trying to get his sea legs again. Running after him and coddling him isn't going to help." Jack hated how harsh he sounded. He couldn't tell Carter everything--how Daniel insisted on spending his nights alone at his own house instead of at Jack's, where Jack somehow felt Daniel belonged. How every time Jack brought up the subject of maybe spending the night at Daniel's house he was rebuffed with an "I just need a little more time."

Jack still wasn't sure if he was being patient or a coward because unlike times past, he wasn't willing to push Daniel on the issue. Maybe he was still mad at Daniel for that whole Kelowna/ascension business, or maybe he was mad at himself for not getting to Central America sooner, or maybe they'd just come to a point in their relationship where things were either going to click together or fall apart, and Jack was too damn scared to find out which. Because, before that whole running off to join Desala's gang of intergalactic glowy octopi, he and Daniel had explored, never quite committing but coming awfully close, to taking the plunge. And even though he'd never asked, never said a word, he knew Daniel remembered what they'd come so close to having.

"I understand," Carter said, but he could tell she didn't. Hell, he didn't either.

He finished what passed for supper and carefully packed the trash in one of the plastic bags they carried for that purpose. Jack stood, stretching out the kinks in his back from sitting on the log they'd dragged to the fireside. He twisted his head from side to side, using the movement to cast surreptitious glances at the tent. No, he wasn't going to wait any longer, he decided. As it happened, he didn't have to move a muscle, because Daniel emerged from the tent, looking somewhat less tense than he had going in. He had a pack full of books and his laptop. Work had always been Daniel's way of dealing with rough stuff.

Daniel walked past him without a word, settling himself on one of the logs. Jack shook his head at Sam and Teal'c, a warning to tread easy. He went back to the fire and sat down beside Daniel.

"Are you hungry, Daniel?" Sam asked. She held up a MRE when he looked at her.

He gave her a brief smile and accepted her offering. Score one for Carter, Jack thought, because Daniel actually began eating the food without complaint. Either he was really hungry or totally distracted. Considering Daniel was staring at the fire without actually looking at what he was putting in his mouth, Jack was going to vote for the latter.

An uncomfortable silence settled over the group, the only sound that of Daniel's swallowing.

"I'm gonna visit the office and then do a perimeter check," Jack announced. From the corner of his eye, he caught a movement from Daniel before he turned his attention back to the fire. Jack walked behind him, letting his hand drop to Daniel's shoulder and squeezing gently. Tense muscles seemed to tighten even more with the touch. Jack didn't know whether to celebrate the fact the touch had been allowed, or to curse because it hadn't helped.

He finished taking care of business in the woods and stood still a moment, looking at the trees surrounding him. This planet looked nothing like Central America, Jack reminded himself. It wasn't hot, humid; there was no one running around trying to hurt Jack, or more importantly, Daniel. But the crack of a tree branch falling had him pivoting, senses on high alert. He kicked at a small rock lying nearby, the image of Daniel backed up against a tree, rock raised in his hands, as fresh as if it had been yesterday. He could still smell Daniel's blood on his hands some nights, could still hear Daniel groaning in pain when they finally were airlifted out of the jungle--all the fight gone out of him. He'd failed his best friend and his team. Jack rubbed at his abdomen, the familiar sting of heartburn making itself known. Keep it up, O'Neill, he jeered, you're probably headed for an ulcer and a heart attack.

By the time he finished the perimeter check and joined the rest of his team by the fire, Daniel appeared to be more himself, well, as much himself as he could be considering three weeks ago he'd nearly had his head chopped off by a walking dead guy.

"Hey, Jack," Daniel said as Jack sat down by him. Staring into his coffee cup, glancing up over at Jack, then back to the coffee mug, Daniel muttered something Jack was pretty sure was an apology.

"You okay?" Jack asked in a quiet voice as Carter launched into raptures over the data she had gathered earlier in the day.

"Yeah," Daniel said, and then gave a small sigh Jack felt as their shoulders bumped.

"So, Daniel," Jack jumped into the conversation when Carter wound down, "what's up with the ruins? Or should that be what's down considering they're all rubble?"

"Nothing much." Daniel held his mug out for Carter to fill it. "Thanks." He took a long sip. "There isn't enough time to do a thorough excavation, of course, but I can't find any signs of recent habitation."

"Daniel Jackson theorized earlier that the humans the Goa'uld transplanted here died out after a few generations," Teal'c added when Daniel appeared to have lost any desire to give more information.

"They were left here alone to die," Daniel said, rolling the mug between his hands as if they were chilled. "The Goa'uld most likely brought them here and when whatever it was began killing them, they simply abandoned them." He looked at Jack as he finished.

"How sad," Carter said.

"Nature of the beast, I suppose," Daniel shrugged. "It shouldn't surprise us."

"Doesn't make it right--abandoning them, I mean," Jack said. He wondered if the comments were being directed at him, Daniel's way of getting back at him for not coming to the rescue sooner. But as quickly as the thought appeared, he dismissed it. Daniel wasn't holding a grudge, he realized with crystal clarity, Daniel had never expected to be rescued by anyone but through his own wits.

"No, it doesn't." The comment was short, clipped.

Jack was ready to call Daniel on the surly toddler act, but then he noticed the lines at Daniel's eyes, the set of his mouth, sure signs of pain and fatigue.

"Why don't you go to bed?" Jack kept the tone light, hoping the concern he felt came through in his voice.

"I'm not sleepy," Daniel answered with a stubborn tone, a warning to lay off.

"Okay," Jack shrugged. "So, what about the Black Hawks--great game on Monday, wasn't it?"

For an attempt at changing the subject, it was pretty pathetic, but it worked, much to Jack's relief, and from there, the discussion ranged from the hockey game to the latest news on the base to Jack's culinary skills.

"I think the next cookout should be at my house, sir," Carter added her comment. "You never allow me to..." she trailed off, her expression going soft and a smile gracing her lips.

Jack looked to his left, giving his own smile. Daniel was leaning against Teal'c, the pain eased from his face as he slept.

"I think it's time for bed, big guy," Jack said, shaking Daniel's arm gently. Daniel sat up with a start, his face flushing when he realized what had happened.

"Sorry," he murmured, ducking his head and scrubbing at his face with his hands.

"Get to bed, okay?" Jack asked. He kept his hand on Daniel's arm, glad to feel the muscles weren't quite as tight as they had been earlier.

"Yeah," Daniel agreed and stood. Jack grimaced as Daniel stretched; he could hear the pop of Daniel's spine and neck. He was on his feet in an instant when Daniel took one step and faltered, his recently injured leg probably gone numb from sitting, combined with the damp of night.

"I'm fine." Daniel waved him off when Jack reached out. "Just stiff. I'm fine," he said again, more to himself than to the rest of them.

"Yeah," Jack said, letting his arm drop to his side. He watched as Daniel limped his way to the tent.

"Well, that went well." Jack turned back to the others as Daniel crawled into the tent.

"Yes, sir," Carter murmured.

"Indeed," Teal'c added.

Jack sat back down and took perverse pleasure in poking the burning logs to see how many sparks he could send up into the night sky.  


* * *

"My watch, Colonel," Carter whispered as she came out to relieve Jack hours later.

"Fresh pot of coffee is on," Jack whispered back. "Tell Teal'c I'll take last watch. I think Daniel needs all the rest he can get."

Carter looked at the fire, the tents, the sky before finally bringing her gaze back to Jack. "I'm worried about him, sir."

"He just needs rest. I don't think he's been sleeping too well since, you know."

"I know." She bit her lip and then gave him a sad smile. "Good night, sir."

"Night," Jack said. He walked to the tent, crouching down and listening before entering. Soft snores drifted out to him and he hoped his entrance wouldn't disturb Daniel's rest.

He crawled onto his sleeping bag, removing his boots and taking off his jacket as quietly as possible. There was rustling as Daniel changed position. Jack glanced over at him; Daniel's eyes were half open.

"Mmmwash?"

"No. Go back to sleep. It's Carter's turn." Jack didn't move until Daniel turned onto his other side, gave a grunt or two and fell silent.

Glad for the warmth of the sleeping bag, Jack stretched out, closed his eyes, and listened to Daniel breathe.

He'd missed that sound when Daniel was...gone. He'd missed it when they were off-world and he shared a tent with Carter or Teal'c, but never with Jonas. Carter talked in her sleep and he couldn't even bring himself to ever tease her about the equations she solved with apparently naked Einsteins and Hawkings. He wasn't ever able to really relax when Teal'c was in kel-no-reem--he had no idea why.

He missed the sound of Daniel's breathing, the quiet snuffling noise he made whenever he shifted position, the soft snoring that was a sign Daniel's antihistamines were wearing off.

Turning to his side, Jack could just see the outline of Daniel's body in the moonlight seeping into the tent. He found himself reaching out to touch and pulled his hand back, tucking it under his chin instead. He closed his eyes to remove temptation and inhaled. The tent smelled of damp, sweat, wood smoke and something more. The tent was small; Jack was so close he could smell Daniel's hair. It wasn't a scent of shampoo; it was just...Daniel.

The temptation was too much to resist and Jack reached out to touch the strands. Daniel's hair was sticky--dust and sweat had matted it, but the touch made him real. Daniel was alive--alive and whole and well, alive. No thanks to anything Jack O'Neill had done and now Jack feared he was screwing up Daniel's recovery, such as it was. Jack pulled his fingers away, disgusted with himself. He turned onto his other side, facing away from Daniel and stared at the tent wall.

Someone was talking in Spanish and Jack opened his eyes, surprised to find himself in a tent and not in a bar in Central America.

"Daniel?" Jack whispered, but the mutterings had already died away. He sat up anyway and leaned over his friend, trying to determine if Daniel was having a nightmare or just talking in his sleep, something he tended to do when overly tired.

When he switched to Russian then Italian, then Abydonian, muttering nonsense, Jack relaxed a fraction, easing back onto his sleeping bag, only to sit straight up when Daniel let out a groan.

"Daniel?"

He could hear heavy breathing and looked over to see Daniel clutching his thigh, rocking slightly with the pain.

"Hey," Jack moved the short distance to Daniel's side, not touching until he determined if his friend was awake or asleep. "Daniel?"

"Cramp," was all Daniel managed to say.

"Let go," Jack reached out, pushing Daniel's hands away and putting his own over the tight muscles. "Lay down."

"No, no." Daniel pushed back. "Don't touch it. I can take care of it."

"Damn it." Jack leaned back on his heels. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I wasn't there for you in Central America. I'm sorry I didn't keep you from being tortured." He was whispering but he felt like he was shouting.

"I'm not blaming you for any of that." The words were said in a breathless gasp as Daniel pressed the heel of his hand into his thigh.

"Then why the hell have you been acting that way?" Jack moved closer, putting his hands on Daniel's shoulders. "Damn it, Daniel. I love you."

And if there was anything Jack hadn't meant to say out loud, it would be those three words.

"You...ah, shit." Daniel bent over his leg, grabbing the thigh.

"I know what I'm doing." Jack ignored Daniel's meager attempts to stop him from touching and felt along the long muscle of Daniel's leg. The thigh was rock hard under his hands and he could feel the knots with his fingers. Giving a wince in sympathy, Jack began to massage Daniel's thigh. Daniel gave a groan and Jack stopped, looking at him. "Now lie back down and let me take care of it."

"No, it's okay. Good hurt," Daniel said.

"Shouldn't hurt at all," Jack muttered, concentrating on his ministrations and trying to ignore Daniel's stare.

"Janet said this would probably happen for a couple of weeks." Daniel shrugged. He sat up again, pushing Jack's hands out of the way. "Thanks. It's better."

He was lying; Jack knew Daniel was lying. He'd had those types of muscle aches and it took more than a few seconds' massage to get the kinks out.

"Go back to sleep, Daniel. I shouldn't have said any-"

"You love me?" Daniel asked. He was leaning into Jack's body space, his breath a warm heat on Jack's chin.

"Yeah." Jack didn't know what more to say.

"I thought maybe...I remembered from before, you know," and at that Daniel made a little spiraling motion with his index finger while looking up at the ceiling of the tent, "but then I wasn't sure if it was real or if I'd imagined things and I didn't want to say anything because..."

"You're babbling," Jack whispered, and dared to touch Daniel's face.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Not."

"Toooo..." the word trailed off because Jack found his breath taken away by a sudden kiss. "Mmph." He was flat on his back with Daniel's legs tangled with his, Daniel's chest bumping his and Daniel kissing him like he'd never been kissed before. It was rough and sloppy and wonderful.

"We've been a couple of idiots," Daniel whispered when he came up for air. "All this wasted time." He sat up, his elbow digging into Jack's ribs. "We shouldn't be doing this on a mission."

"I know." Jack pulled him back down, his fingers fumbling for the buttons on Daniel's pants even as Daniel was unbuttoning his.

"Too long. It's been too long," Daniel whispered. He closed his fingers around Jack's cock.

Jack shuddered. He brought his hand down, covering Daniel's hand with his own, Daniel's fingers rough from scraping against stone.

"Do me," Daniel' whispered, leaning in to lick the skin at the hollow of Jack's throat. "Please."

Jack closed his eyes, reaching out and finding Daniel's cock. The skin was smooth under his hand, smooth and warm. He slid his hand up and down, an experiment, and smiled as Daniel gave a small moan.

"Quiet. We have to be quiet," Jack warned. He bit his lip as Daniel found a better rhythm with his grip--wanting to yell out and acutely aware of Carter sitting out by the fire.

It was rough and awkward. Messy and clumsy. Certainly not the way Jack had envisioned his and Daniel's first attempt at anything close to real sex. Daniel's elbow knocked into his chin and for a moment Jack saw stars, and it wasn't because of the attention Daniel was giving his cock. He fumbled for something to grip and he blindly reached out, grabbing Daniel's hair. And then there was only the sound of skin on skin, and their harsh breathing. Jack felt as if he'd been running for miles and he arched his lower back. Memories of stolen moments in his teens, furtive groping in his dad's car with Mary Catherine O'Hara assailed him, that same feeling that any moment he was going to be caught added a growing excitement to the experience. Sweat ran into his eyes, stinging them, a little exquisite pain to add to the other. He came with a grunt, heat spreading over his stomach and coating Daniel's hands--Daniel leaned against him, pushing himself further into Jack's hand. Daniel came, collapsing against the length of Jack's body and breathing hard. Jack could feel the bump of Daniel's racing heart against his own. Their breathing slowed and Daniel rolled off of him, turning to his side and looking at Jack.

"Why were you acting as if you didn't care?" Daniel asked. Jack raised a finger in warning and Daniel lowered his voice to a softer whisper. He sounded puzzled and indignant at the same time. "You know--down in...and then after?"

"Because I did," Jack admitted. He looked up at the tent ceiling, unable to look at Daniel. "I did."

Daniel said nothing to his comment and Jack heard quiet sounds as Daniel made an attempt to clean himself up.

"I was scared," Jack whispered, and the small noises stopped. There. He'd admitted it not only to Daniel but also to himself.

"I'm able to take care of myself," Daniel finally said, just when Jack thought the silence would last forever.

"I know." Jack's nose felt stuffy, and his eyes were stinging again. "Believe me, I know." He heard Daniel swallow beside him, the soft sound as Daniel opened his mouth and then closed it. Jack lifted his right arm, putting it over his eyes, shutting out the meager light.

And then there was a light touch to his forearm and when he didn't respond, the fingers pressed down harder.

"I never thanked you," Daniel said in a low voice that wouldn't carry beyond Jack's hearing.

"No need." Jack moved his arm, not surprised to find Daniel by his side again. "I was almost too late."

"Again," Daniel said for him when Jack held his mouth open but the words wouldn't come. Daniel leaned down, a brief grimace of pain crossing his face as he shifted position. He placed his hands on Jack's shoulders. "It. Was. Not. Your. Fault."

Jack felt uncomfortable, as if he was trapped, even though he knew he could throw Daniel off if he wanted. "I know."

"No." Daniel was speaking with precision, biting off his vowels and consonants in a way that meant total seriousness. "No, you don't know, Jack. Kelowna was not your fault."

"I thought we were talking about Central America?" Jack shifted, unable to bear Daniel's hands on his shoulders any longer.

"Were we?" Daniel countered in challenge, although he removed his hands from Jack's shoulders.

Jack sat up. His hands began shaking first. He stared at them and clenched them into fists, but it didn't work. The tremors continued and he pulled his arms closer to his chest, drawing up his legs and trying to control the shaking that way. He was conscious of Daniel whispering his name, of strong arms being placed around him until he was surrounded and supported. The tremors wouldn't stop and to his horror and shame, he began to feel tears hot and burning run down his cheeks.

"I've got you," Daniel said into his ear. "I've got you."

Jack moved his head a fraction--not really a nod, but enough to make an attempt to let Daniel know he heard. It was like lancing a putrid wound--the hurt, the guilt, the pain over Daniel's loss the year before finally being purged from deep in Jack's soul where he'd kept it hidden.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. God, Daniel, I'm sorry." Jack was unable to raise his head to look at Daniel, afraid of what he'd see in Daniel's eyes.

Daniel tightened his arms around him and held on while Jack let the emotions wash over him.

"I forgive you. Charlie forgives you. Sara forgives you," Daniel said--words Jack hadn't known he needed to hear until they were spoken--both absolution and benediction.

Jack risked opening his eyes and made a grumbling noise. He heard Daniel's low chuckle and felt Daniel's arms drop away from their tight hold. He looked at Daniel, who was watching him.

"I love you, Jack." Daniel smiled at him, his teeth white in the moonlight. "Maybe it's time for a new beginning."

Jack nodded, not trusting his voice, feeling as if he was newly born, shaky, tentative, but placing his trust and life in someone's hands. He took a shallow breath and then a deeper one, feeling cleansed.

"New beginnings." Jack grinned shakily back at Daniel. "I like the sound of that."

"So..." Daniel dragged out the syllable and tilted his head to one side. "Where do we go from here?"

"Second star to the right, straight on 'til morning?" Jack asked. "Sound good?"

"Sounds good." Daniel nodded his head and yawned. "Although I was hoping more for something like 'to sleep' right about now."

"Sleep. Sleep is good." Jack said, grinning again, watching as Daniel stretched back out on his sleeping bag.

Yeah, he had the feeling sleep was gonna be a whole lot better with Daniel Jackson by his side. Jack stretched out himself and let Daniel's snores serve as his new lullaby.

  



End file.
